Can we lose ourselves? Can we find ourselves again? The answer, I believe, is yes to both.
In Luis Felipe Lomelí’s micro story El Emigrante, a poignant exchange captures the inner turmoil of emigration:
"Did you forget anything?"If only!"
These words echo the complex experience of leaving one life behind in search of another. Emigration is not just a physical journey but an emotional and psychological one. It is a leap into the unknown, driven by a hope for something better. Yet, as Lomelí suggests, the process often reveals truths we didn’t anticipate, and perhaps weren’t ready for.
What Does It Mean to Lose Yourself?
Losing ourselves can mean disconnecting from our core identity. Many psychologists agree this can happen as a response to trauma. For survival, we may suppress parts of ourselves, abandoning our true passions and values. Emigration, with its challenges to stability and identity, can amplify this disconnection.
When we emigrate, we’re not just seeking new opportunities, we’re also exploring new ways of living. But in adapting to survive, we might ignore the parts of ourselves that make us unique. We take jobs we don’t love, follow advice that doesn’t align with us, and try to fit into societal moulds. While this may seem like the safest route, it often comes at a cost.
The Hidden Truth of Change
As El Emigrante reflects, we often “forget” parts of ourselves in the process of seeking something new. But this forgetting also uncovers new truths. Creating a better life isn’t just about external circumstances. It requires us to stretch, change, and let go of the old.
The irony is that by trying to conform, we lose our light. Our motivation can fade, our stress increases, and our performance suffers. Over time, this disconnection can lead to burnout, depression, or even job loss, leaving us further from the life we envisioned.
Reclaiming Yourself Through Authenticity
I’ve walked this path. I know what it’s like to feel out of place, to suppress dreams for the sake of survival. But I also learned that a true sense of success - joy and calm - emerges when we align with who we are at our core. Authenticity isn’t just a buzzword; it’s a foundation for growth and fulfillment.
Research shows that living authentically improves mental health, boosts resilience, and enhances performance. Brené Brown reminds us:
"Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are."
Moving Forward
Rediscovering yourself after emigration, or any life-altering change, takes courage and intentional effort. Coaching offers a space to explore your values, and strengths, rebuild your confidence, and realign your life with your true self.
If you feel lost or disconnected, remember this: the journey back to yourself is worth every step. Emigration challenges us to adapt and grow, but it also invites us to reconnect with the core of who we are, a part of us that has always been there, waiting to be seen and expressed in a new way.
I sincerely commend you for the dedication and effort you’ve invested so far. Your hard work truly reflects your determination and perseverance. Are you ready to stop trying to fit it?
Book a free consultation today.
Monika Kawka | Leadership Coach for Women | Gallup Certified Coach | Leadership Coaching for Women | Leadership Strategies for Women
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