How to Survive the Holiday Season

The holiday season can feel like a test of endurance. There is pressure from so many directions: family expectations, social invitations, cultural or religious assumptions, financial strain, and the endless comparison machine of social media.

It all can feel like a sociological experiment in how much pressure a human nervous system can absorb.

Surveys consistently show that a majority of people report heightened anxiety, depression, and financial stress at this time of year, even though it is marketed as “the happiest season.”

The most sensitive among us may fantasize about hiding under a rock.

Before I had a family of my own, I used to slip away backpacking, Kerala, Nepal, little coastal towns where the air was warm and nobody cared about shopping lists or Christian holidays.

I didn’t know it then, but I was performing a kind of seasonal migration for the soul, choosing cultures where December meant something entirely different.

First of all, it might not even be your holiday season. Mainstream winter culture is not known to be inclusive. You might be navigating grief, illness, emigration, estrangement, deconstruction of faith, divorce, a new job, or no job at all.

You might be far from home, low on money, or simply out of sync with the glittery expectations and constant questions about your “plans for Christmas.”

So here is what really needs saying: there is nothing wrong with you.

How to Survive the Holiday Season? There are gentle, compassionate ways to ground yourself and find meaning amidst the noise.

1. Remember: You Are Not Your Thoughts

Under stress, the mind can become a loud, relentless commentator: You should be happier. You should be more grateful. You should be doing more.

Holiday stress research suggests that many people experience increased anxiety and rumination – those looping, repetitive thoughts that make everything feel heavier.

Mindfulness and meditation practices have been shown to reduce this kind of mental overactivity and help create a little breathing room between “you” and your thoughts.

You might want to experiment with PAUSE.

The PAUSE approach is a simple, five-step process Joseph Nguyen uses in Don’t Believe Everything You Think to interrupt overthinking and negative spirals.

It works like this:

• P – Pause Literally stop and take a conscious breath (he often suggests a deeper, slower breath or “physiological sigh”) to interrupt the automatic loop.

  
  

• A – Ask Ask yourself whether your current thinking is helpful: “Is this way of thinking helping me feel how I want to feel or move how I want to move?”

  
  

• U – Understand Remember that thoughts are automatic, but thinking (grabbing and spinning them into stories) is optional; you have a choice to disengage.

  
  

• S – Say Silently repeat a grounding statement or mantra that reinforces this understanding (for example, that overthinking is what’s creating suffering right now).

  
  

• E – Experience Let yourself feel the actual emotion or body sensation without adding more story, trusting that the feeling will move through if you stop feeding it with more thinking.

  
  

In essence, PAUSE is a micro‑practice: notice the spiral, create space, question whether the thinking is useful, remind yourself you can let it go, and then allow the feeling to be felt rather than endlessly analyzed.

Small rituals of awareness can soften the harshness of your inner critic.

2. Make Rest Your Biggest Gift

The holidays are notorious for pushing rest to the bottom of the list. Yet studies show that during this season, many people sleep less, move less, and push their bodies harder, while simultaneously reporting more stress than at other times of the year.

What if this year your radical act was to rest?

• Catch up on sleep where you can: earlier nights, lazy mornings, naps

• Rest your eyes and nervous system by dimming screens and lights when possible

• Rest your body: warm baths, stretching, gentle movement, unhurried showers

• Rest your obligations: allow yourself to decline events that drain you, even if you “always go.”

  
  

Artist Henri Matisse once said, “There are always flowers for those who want to see them.”

Rest can be one of those “flowers” – a quiet, unglamorous beauty you offer yourself so that you don’t miss your own life.

Ask yourself: What is the kindest form of rest I could give myself this week? 

Then protect it like you would protect a friend’s well-being.

3. Put On Your Shoes and Step Outside

Nature is one of the most accessible medicines for a frazzled nervous system. A growing body of research shows that even short walks in natural settings can reduce anxiety, depression, and stress, and lower physiological markers such as cortisol.

You do not need a forest or a mountain. A city park, a tree‑lined street, a river path, or even a small garden can help.

Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh said,

“Every step can be a miracle; every step can be nourishing.”

A short, imperfect walk can do more for your nervous system than another hour of scrolling.

4. Set Boundaries and Focus on What Matters

You are not obligated to attend every gathering, keep every tradition, or meet everyone’s expectations. Surveys indicate that financial worries, family dynamics, and overcommitted schedules are among the top holiday stressors.

Some simple boundary moves:

• Decide in advance how many events you genuinely have capacity for.

• Use gentle but firm phrases: “I won’t be able to make it this year, but thank you for thinking of me.”

• Allow some things to be “good enough” instead of perfect – the meal, the gifts, the house, your mood.

  
  

“You must learn one thing: the world was made to be free in.” - David Whyte

Freedom often starts in small, practical “no’s” that create space for a deeper “yes” to your own well-being.

5. Create (or Rewrite) Your Own Traditions

If the celebrations around you do not feel like they belong to you, you are allowed to create new rituals that do.

You might:

• Light a candle for someone you miss and sit with their memory in quiet

• Spend the day volunteering, turning the season into an act of service rather than consumption

• Cook a favorite dish from your childhood, or from the place you wish you were

• Declare a “pyjama day” of reading, films, or making art

  
  

Your traditions do not have to match anyone else’s; they only need to honour what keeps that your "inner summer" alive.

6. Limit Social Media and Lean into Real Connection

Social media tends to amplify a glossy, edited version of the holidays: coordinated outfits, perfect families, luminous trees. Behind those frames are real humans with complex stories and struggles. For many, too much time online increases loneliness, comparison, and dissatisfaction – particularly around holidays and life milestones.

Consider:

• Deleting apps from your phone for a few days or setting time limits

• Replacing some scrolling with activities that nourish you: journaling, drawing, music, reading

• Reaching out directly to one or two people you trust and telling the truth about how you’re doing

  
  

Sometimes the most healing companionship is the kind that lets you belong to yourself first.​

How to Survive the Holiday Season?

If the holidays make you feel lonely in a crowded room, sad in a "season of joy", or overwhelmed when everyone else seems energized – you are not broken.

You are living in a culture that sends very loud inconsiderate messages about what this time of year should look and feel like.

You are also shaped by your past, your losses, your temperament, your body, your story.

You are allowed to:

• Move slowly

• Feel how you feel

• Take breaks

• Ask for help

• Opt out where you need to

• Craft a season that is survivable first, meaningful second, and Instagrammable last (or not at all)

  
  

“Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand,” - Edith Sitwell

Comfort can be simple: a soft blanket, a friend’s voice, a quiet walk, a night of honest tears, an early bedtime.

There is nothing wrong with you.

You are, like all of us, carrying the weight of your story in a world that often forgets how heavy that can be.

You are allowed to set that weight down, a little, and choose the gentlest possible way through.

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Hi, I’m Monika, Strengths Coach and facilitator. I help individuals and groups cultivate resilience, emotional intelligence, and well-being through strengths-based coaching. Passionate about transformative and creative leadership, I empower leaders to drive meaningful change within themselves, their organizations, and beyond.

I hope you’ll visit often, and I look forward to connecting and working together!