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Is Change Possible? Do People Really Change?

Updated: Dec 17


The question of whether people can truly change has been debated for ages. Skeptics argue that personality, habits, or behaviours are hardwired. Yet, stories of transformation, both personal and collective, (thankfully!) challenge that notion.


This quote captures the essence of this discussion:

“People change for two main reasons: either their minds have been opened or their hearts have been broken” 

It suggests that significant change often stems from profound emotional or intellectual shifts, triggered by life-altering moments or revelations.


Why Change Feels So Hard


Change often feels insurmountable because it disrupts our sense of identity and challenges deeply rooted habits. Neuroscience supports this difficulty; the brain’s pathways become entrenched through repetition, making old patterns easier to follow than forging new ones. Yet, the brain’s plasticity, the ability to rewire itself, offers hope. With intentional effort, new habits and perspectives can replace old, unhelpful ones.


The Catalyst for Change


Transformation usually requires a catalyst:


  1. Heartbreak and Hardship: Pain has a way of waking us up. Loss, failure, or adversity can push us to question long-held beliefs and behaviours. For example, someone might reevaluate their priorities after the end of a relationship or the loss of a job.

  2. New Perspectives: Exposure to different viewpoints, cultures, or ideas can expand our understanding of ourselves and the world, leading to a shift in mindset.


In both cases, the discomfort of staying the same often becomes greater than the fear of change, a pivotal moment when transformation becomes possible.


Can People Truly Change?


Yes, change is possible, but it’s not instantaneous or effortless. Growth demands courage, self-awareness, and persistence. Here are a few key components:


  • Self-Reflection: Understanding the “why” behind our behaviours is the first step to shifting them.

  • Support Systems: Change rarely happens in isolation. Coaches, mentors, and supportive communities can make all the difference.

  • Consistency: New habits require repeated effort to form. Small, incremental changes over time can lead to profound results.



The Power of Belief


Believing in the possibility of change is a prerequisite to achieving it. Positive psychology emphasizes focusing on strengths and envisioning a better future as tools to foster growth. Research by Carol Dweck on growth mindset highlights that people who see challenges as opportunities for improvement are far more likely to succeed.


Final Thoughts


We all have the capacity for transformation, whether prompted by heartbreak, newfound insight, or a personal desire for growth. Change isn’t about becoming someone entirely different but rediscovering and realigning with our best selves.

“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” ~ Jim Rohn

What about you? Is there a change you’ve been yearning for? Start small, seek support, and trust in your ability to evolve. Click here and book a complimentary discovery call with me.


Just remember, growth is a process that requires both time and effort. Be kind to yourself, stay consistent, and trust the path you’re on. With dedication, you’ll not only see changes in your actions but feel a deeper transformation within!



Monika Kawka | Leadership Coach for Women | Gallup Certified Coach | Leadership Coaching for Women | Leadership Strategies for Women

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