Negotiations: Tap Into Your Strengths for Better Outcomes

Negotiation is often misunderstood. Many people associate it with hard bargaining, competition, and even confrontation. But in today’s world, what do we really mean when we talk about negotiations? Are they always about winning or securing the best deal? Or can they be something more fluid, creative, and collaborative?

Rethinking Negotiations: Moving Beyond Misconceptions

One of the biggest misconceptions about negotiation is that it’s purely about securing victory over the other party. But as William Ury, co-founder of the Harvard Negotiation Project, emphasizes, the most effective negotiations aim for win-win outcomes. This means finding solutions that benefit all parties involved, rather than approaching discussions with a zero-sum mindset.

Negotiation as a Creative Process: What’s Possible?

Rather than viewing negotiation as a battle, consider it a creative exercise, a way to explore possibilities and craft solutions that work for everyone.

What if, instead of asking, “How do I get the best deal?”, we asked, “What can we create together?” This shift in perspective allows for more innovation and mutual benefit.

Effective negotiators tap into their strengths, whether it’s empathy, strategic thinking, or adaptability, to navigate discussions with a broader lens. By focusing on shared interests rather than fixed positions, we open up space for new opportunities and better relationships.

Who Are We, and What Brings Us Together?

Before stepping into any negotiation, it’s crucial to ask: Who are we, and what unites us? Instead of fixating on differences, identifying shared values and common goals helps establish a foundation of trust and collaboration.

Negotiations should not always be framed as an “us vs. them” scenario. Often, what we label as negotiations might actually be a conversation, ideation session, or brainstorming exercise.

When we prematurely categorize a discussion as a negotiation, we risk creating unnecessary tension or dividing participants into opposing sides. By being mindful of the language we use, we can foster more open, constructive dialogue.

Leading Negotiations: Are They Really Negotiations?

Before leading a negotiation, it’s worth questioning whether it’s truly a negotiation at all. Could it be better described as a problem-solving session, a partnership discussion, or a strategic dialogue? Sometimes, simply shifting the terminology can reshape the dynamics and lead to more productive interactions.

If the conversation is centered on exploring ideas and generating solutions, calling it a negotiation might be misleading. Instead, positioning it as a collaborative discussion can help reduce resistance and encourage participants to work together toward a shared goal.

The Role of Self-Awareness in Negotiations

Self-awareness is a powerful tool in negotiation. Understanding your strengths can provide insight into how you naturally approach discussions and where you might need to adapt.

If you have taken CliftonStrengths, you may already have language to describe your talents. If not, take a moment to reflect on where your strengths lie and their associated leadership styles:

Relationship Building → Leadership Style: People-Oriented Leader
Executing → Leadership Style: Process-Oriented Leader
Strategic Thinking → Leadership Style: Thought-Oriented Leader
Influencing → Leadership Style: Impact-Oriented Leader

Bringing the lens of your strengths into your negotiation style can be incredibly valuable.

For my clients who lead with an influencing style, the challenge in negotiations is often knowing when to let go and listen. They tend to have a strong vision, deep values, and a clear sense of right and wrong, suspending those for a moment to truly listen can be an important preparation step.

For those who lead with strategic thinking, preparation and research are essential. Having a well-researched approach gives them a sense of calm and confidence when entering the room.

Personally, I lead with relationship-building themes. I deeply care about categorizing topics and making a clear distinction between the relationships I want to preserve and the possible outcomes of the negotiation. I'm genuine when I highligh what I appreciate about people involved and our collaboration thus far.

Bringing strengths into preparation provides confidence, clarity, and calm. It helps you understand whose consultation or collaboration you might need and ensures that when tensions rise, you remain clear on who you are, what’s important, and where your boundaries lie.

Simultaneously, your weaknesses might come to light. In fact, if you are like most people, it is much easier for you to focus on weaknesses. Make a list. My weakness is that I have jumped into a decision too fast in the past. Knowing that helps me remember to go into negotiations centered, grounded, and rested. Because I know that this is when I will take a breath before I make a commitment. I will have more clarity and access to my inner resources to ask clarifying questions and also to pause or take a break when I feel pressured to give an answer quickly.

Tap Into Your Strengths for Better Negotiation

Whether you’re leading a formal negotiation or a strategic conversation, the key is to lean into your strengths.

Are you a great listener? Do you excel at seeing the bigger picture? Are you skilled at bringing people together? Do you see areas for improvement better than others?

By understanding your unique strengths and approaching negotiations with a creative, collaborative mindset, you can unlock better outcomes for everyone involved.

Negotiation doesn’t have to be about winning at the expense of others, it can be about creating something greater together.

Learning from Nelson Mandela's Approach to Negotiation

Nelson Mandela serves as a remarkable example of balancing firmness with compassion in negotiation. A hard negotiator when it came to his principles, Mandela never wavered or compromised on his core values. At the same time, he was soft in his approach, demonstrating inclusivity and forgiveness. His ability to hold steadfast to his beliefs while fostering reconciliation and understanding exemplifies the power of blending strength and empathy in negotiation.

Mandela’s legacy teaches us that successful negotiation doesn’t mean yielding or dominating, it’s about creating solutions that uphold your principles while building bridges with others. His approach underscores the importance of being clear about your values and objectives, yet open to understanding the perspectives and needs of others.

Self-Awareness, Preparation, and Practice

Successful negotiation hinges on self-awareness, preparation, and practice. Understanding your strengths allows you to:

Prepare effectively: Tailor your approach based on the specific situation and the individuals involved
Build rapport: Foster trust and connection through talents like Empathy or Harmony
Influence strategically: Use talents like Maximizer or Command to present compelling arguments
Execute confidently: Leverage Achiever or Focus to follow through on your goals

Reflecting on your past negotiations can reveal patterns in how your strengths drive your behavior. This self-awareness is a cornerstone of becoming a more effective negotiator.

Who looks inside, awakes. - Carl Jung

If you’re ready to elevate your negotiation game, I invite you to connect with me. As an executive Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, I provide personalized guidance and a safe space to:

Discover how your unique strengths influence your negotiation style
Develop strategies for efficient pre-negotiation planning and preparation
Practice and refine your skills through tailored exercises

Together, we can unlock your full potential and help you achieve your goals while maintaining meaningful relationships.

Hi, I’m Monika, Strengths Coach, facilitator, social-profit organization leader, and photographer. I’m here to help you own your vision for meaningful growth and transformation, uncover your unique leadership strengths, and empower you and your team to thrive and create lasting impact. Passionate about driving change within, around, and beyond, I love supporting fellow change-makers on their journeys.